It's that time of year

I spent my weekend...guess where???  In the kitchen.  There are some here at The Fort that accuse me of living in the kitchen.  But, it is that time of year and I wanted to bake.  Therefore, I spend my Saturday and most of Sunday afternoons in the kitchen.  Since my discovery of "The Tasha Tudor Cookbook" I have been consumed to try some of the recipes that she has recorded in her "receipt book" (as she called it).  So, I did.

Saturday I made her Christmas Cookie recipe, a delicious sugar cookie, LOADED with butter.  And I also made Gingerbread cookies (those weren't from her cookbook, as the only gingerbread cookie recipe she had is the one for her tree ornaments, which doesn't taste very good)

Then, on Sunday, I prepared my icing and spent far too long decorating them.  But they look quite beautiful, and even better they taste delicious!

The other recipe that I tried from Tasha's Cookbook was her "Dundee Cake" which she always made for St. Nicholas Day.  It required the beating in of 4 eggs, which you beat for 5 minutes apiece after each addition.  Then it has raisins, currants, Candied cherries and Citron in it.  It is in the freezer right now, as she says that they taste best after they have been frozen for a while.

I've also made St. Lucia Buns this year.  Sweet, cinnamon tasting buns that I remember dipping into Hot Chocolate as a child.

This morning, my Sister-in-love had sent me a link to Ann Voskamp's blog (From December 17th); A Holy Experience (The link is here, if you would like to read the post for yourself.
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/12/when-youd-like-a-relationship-miracle-this-christmas/

I have Ann's book "One Thousand Gifts" and have been greatly moved by her work, though I have yet to finish the book.  Today's blog, or rather Friday's, moved me incredibly.  I had to wipe my eyes several times just to be able to keep reading.

Her words have always moved me, some times more than others.  This morning, the message hit home.  When we can't forgive, when our hearts can't forgive, God has given us Jesus's heart, and that can forgive ANYTHING.

On top of this heart tugging message, I've been feeling a little lost lately.  I know that right now I am where God has called me, but that little seed of fear and doubt have begun to kick up their heads again.  What am I doing?  I am 30 years old and most of my friends, and almost all of my siblings (with the exception of the one who will be in a few weeks) are married and have settled down.  In a sense, they are all adults.  Yet, here I am, constantly moving around, uprooting myself.  What is the path that God has chosen for me?  And am I following it?

Recently I was re-introduced to an old favorite book, from when I was a child.  I couldn't remember the exact title for the longest time, my sister and I simply referred to it as "The Lupine Lady Book."  The actual title is "Miss Rumphius" and it is by Barbara Cooney.  It follows the story of Alice Rumphius, who sets out to do 3 things that her Grandfather tells her she must.  She travels the world, then comes back home and lives by the sea.  The third thing she is told to do, so finds more difficult.  For her Grandfather had told her that she must make the world a more beautiful place.  And she could not figure out how she was going to do that.  Especially since, "the world was pretty nice already."  The answer, for Alice Rumphius, was Lupines (which are my favorite flower, mostly because of this book).  After being ill, (she had hurt her back while traveling) she scatters seeds all across her New England landscape, clothing the world each spring in Purple, White and Pink spires.

Anyway, I thought of this because I feel in many ways that I could be Miss Rumphius.  I long to travel, to see the world (England most desperately) then to come home and live by the sea.  But what am I supposed to do to make the world a more beautiful place?  That is the question that has stumped me, just as it did Alice Rumphius.