It's terrible sometimes to realize that you've missed an opportunity. Last week, as I was driving to Ohio for Jenny's Wedding, I stopped over in Lowell, Indiana to pick up Annalynn. We spent the night, and on Wednesday morning I woke up at 7am, wide awake. Since I wasn't going to fall back asleep again, I went out into the living room and sat staring out at the still lake. Annalynn's grandparents have a lot of books at the cabin, so I looked and found one by Madeleine L'Engle (who I love) and I started to read it. It was a non-fiction piece (I had never read her non-fiction before) and I was as entranced by her prose writing non-fiction as I was when she was writing the fiction that I have come to love. Well, I have it coming through the library system so that I can finish it. It has a great title, as do most of her books. It is called "A Circle of Quiet" and is the first of four on her "Crosswick Journal" series. I have the second of that coming soon. And I have already read two others by her (A Ring of Endless Light and Wrinkle in Time) and have fallen in love all over again with the brilliance that was a devoutedly Christian woman/author.
In my wonderings, I looked her up only to find out to my dismay that all of the questions that I should have liked to ask her will most likely go unanswered, she died in September 2007. Oh how I wish I could have spoken with her. She writes, beautifully, remaining true to her faith through her books and yet she doesn't shove it down her readers throats. How does one do that? I was talking with one of my co-workers, a teacher near Madison named Joe, and he told me that he had the pleasure of meeting her the first year he was a teacher. She had come to do a writing seminar with the students of his school. I was struck with such envy. For once I wish I could speak with someone that I admire as much as I have come to admire Madeleine's books. And I have come to appreciate them more each time I've re-read them. It amazes me how much scripture is used throughout Wrinkle in Time, I love that.
I am rambling now. It is 10 minutes until the end of my shift at work, and hardly anyone is calling tonight. It is one other lady and I closing shop tonight. So many things have seemed to change, to shift within the last week and a half. In some ways I am looking at my writing in a whole new light. I am wondering if my writing is leading others towards the Light. For what purpose is this creative gift that I have been given if I do not lead others towards it's source? For the first time I am conciously considering how I write, and the subject matter that I tend to fall into and allow lead me. I wish, with all my heart, to lead others to the light, to reaffirm that the light shines in the darkness. Maybe because I have been going through a darkness myself, watching my father as the cancer has stolen from him. Maybe some of it has to do with the true brush of Evil that I felt last week. But whatever it was, I want to strive more to reflect the light.
