Exhausted

So, this weekend my brother, sister-in-law (in title only...sister in heart) and niece and nephews (2 of them) and their dog Reyito came up to visit.  I love seeing them.  I don't see them enough.  My niece, Carissa is 8 (going on 9 in July) and is my mini-me.  That means that she wants to be with me ALL the time, which I find it hard to tell her no.  And I know there is a good deal of good reasoning behind this and that I do truly love spending the time with her, but after spending intensive time beading with her (I'm helping make her projects) and reading to everyone (which I do love to do) and having them all want to cuddle constantly I just get to the "Family-overload" point and need to back out.

So, now they have left to go visit my next youngest sibling, Anna and make her tacos for dinner.  And the house is quiet once more as we are left to our quiet pursuits.  It amazes me how my sister-in-law handles their noise ALL the time.  I'd be screaming, even if they were my own beloved children.  Maybe I'm just getting stodgy in my old age.  Maybe I'm getting too accustomed to doing what I want when I want to do it.

In regards to that, I found more fun cottage pictures today...I was looking for ideas on what a English Cottage Garden looks like...and some interiors..though I have found that I do not much care for the "Cottage" style of decorating...it's too floral and too many patterns.  Pam, we'll have to simplify things, but bright wall colors and lots of windows to let in the light!

 

 

I love this cottage, only, I wouldn't want a thatched roof...too much work and mold...

I love the stone pillars with the gate, I believe they are a must have, or something similar..besides that, I want one.

 

This is a picture of Kate Winslet's Character Iris's cottage in the movie "The Holiday" I love it as an example of a well-done English Country Cottage.

 

A Library!  I must have one of these!

One feature that I have noticed in many of the cottages that I have looked at are the exposed beams on the ceiling, which I adore...such a great architectural feature!

Just about the only thing wrong with this kitchen is that it is ALL white!  Other than that I love most of it.

 

Ah yes, the other prerequisite for an English Country Cottage, the Fireplace.  Must have one of these as well.

I know I posted this before, but I just lost the arched, double-dutch door.  Would love one of these from the kitchen out into the garden.

I thought this kitchen seemed a little more like us, more COLOR for one thing...

Okay, enough day-dreaming for now.  Back to reality...

So, while my last post was very uplifting, this one...not so much.

Pretty much I'm an idiot.  I spent some of my tax return money and now, with my check just deposited in the bank, I have a total of $736 and some odd cents.  And I won't get paid for another 2 weeks.  Which means I'll be a bit shy of being able to pay Kevin for the repair work on my car until March 11th, unless my parents spot me approx $150... which also means that my other bills will remain unpaid for this period (as I have one bill that is automatically deducted from my account and it is $100).

Here the Lord had provided me with the money that I needed to pay for the repair of the car that he had given me, and I pissed it away at Half Price Books, Barnes and Noble and Bed Bath and Beyond... and others...

I know that I usually end up learning things the hard way, usually I have to have it hammered into my head by a 2x4...and I have been trying lately to be better with my money.  But I wasn't expecting my car to cost so much...so I thought I had extra...

I should know better by now.

The Lord is Good

Lately the lord has been proving to me over and over again how he takes care of us.  A little over two weeks ago I was worrying about my job security.  I had taken the job in a seasonal capacity and while I had applied for the flexible part time position, I hadn't heard anything.  So I was worrying.  Also my car had died and while I would have about $700 come tax returns it is hard to buy a decent car with that much money.
So, two sunday's ago I was praying during our prayer time at church (which is usually long and everyone participates...) I released my worry to God.  Then, in the quiet I suddenly heard the birds that were in the bushes outside the window near me and into my mind came this passage from Matthew chapter 6.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?



28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

And in that moment a peace swept over me.  And to prove his point even more, a couple in our church approached my father after church and offered us their 1997 Oldsmobile Achieva.  They would give it to us, we would have to have some repairs done on it (the water pump had broken) but compared to buying a new car this was an amazing release of stress.  And the timing was such that only He could have arranged it.

With that taken care of, all I needed was the assurance that I would still have a job come March.  I knew that I was going to hear at some point this week and asked everyone at church to pray for peace in the situation.  Well, I heard today.  I was taken on in the "Flexible part time" position, which means that I still have a job!!!! Yay (it so helps to pay for 2 bridesmaid dresses)

So, all this to say God is good all the time!!!!!

julie andrews and carol burnett

I was just introduced to the wonders of the comic genius of Carol Burnett (Thanks Pam, for the Gone with the wind sketch) which led me to these gems...

http://www.youtube.com/watch#v=Y9P9dtd7w_A&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch#v=TQyoMDZUP68&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch#v=niUe-0UWovw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch#v=NjzigjdfJ5o&feature=related

Sunday

So, today I became a member of my church (officially) and we had our annual business meeting, which was rather intense as the new business consisted of a lot of heated debate over the 7th Day Adventist church that rents our building.  We have a lot of people with strong view points.
When the meeting concluded, we had a potluck (YAY for church lady food!!!) and were able to socialize a little.  Which was wonderful as always.

Dad's back has been hurting a good bit lately and his oncologist says that she can't find a reason for the muscle pain he has been enduring.  And usually the second day after his chemo is the worst, so he was not doing well today.  We came home and he took vicodin, which seemed to help.  I know it is hard for him, he has trouble sleeping, as well as keeping food in his body long enough for his body to derive the nutrition from it.  Before the accident last March (when we first learned that something was not as it should be) he weighed around 240 (for a 6'4 guy) he's lost over 50 lbs since then, because the cancer is in his pancreas.

I help him by doing chores on such days when he can't do them himself, even though I know that he would rather do them himself.  I enjoy chores to an extent (they aren't very intensive at the moment) I love spoiling Frosty (our American Cream Draft Horse gelding)

 

Bringing him apples, and carrots and giving him a handful of corn...

But the roosters...they can go join their brethren in the freezer!  And everyone is so demanding, like Little One

 

(She's the calico on the right.  Lester is the orange and white pain in the butt on the left) (I call him Lester, short for Mo-Lester....)

I feel bad for little one, Dad didn't expect her to live through winter, she has something wrong with one of her back legs.  My grandmother said she was the ugliest cat she had ever seen, I disagree for she has beautiful blue eyes.

But the roosters, I hate with a passion.  I would like to eat every last one of them....(not all at once of course.)

Talk about tangents today...sorry.

I am trying to decide what book I should read next.  I have several good ones on my shelf that I have not touched and have owned for probably over a year.  I am reading Beatrix Potter's Biography "Beatrix Potter: A Life in Nature" which is fascinating and I need to finish William Wilberforce's biography "Amazing Grace" but Biographies tend to be a bit dry, however fascinating their person is, I find them harder to get into.

I'm sure I'll figure it out, until them...I'll watch another movie...this time with less crazy hair and makeup and less stirrup-pants :D

I think that I have been hit with that bug that hits me about every couple of months.  I start to feel very lonely, and start to be-moan the fact that I am alone.  It sucks.  And I hate that it happens.  It is a cycle.  Just when I start to think, okay maybe I'll be all right if I never get married.  Then it sneaks up behind me and smacks me in the back of the head with a 2x4.  I need some prayer.
I know that if it is God's will, that I will find that perfect man, and if not then he has his reasons and he has a mission for me that I will better fulfill by myself.  And maybe this is why Beatrix was such a consolation the other day.  She had resigned herself to being single, then Norman Warne showed up on her doorstep (kind of) as her publisher.  When she lost him, she moved on, continued with her life and was given a second chance for happiness.  She didn't marry her husband William Heelis until she was 47.  They were married for 30 years, William following Beatrix to the grave by 2 years.  With all my heart, I want that.  And I am terrified that I may not get it.  Petrified.  I want a husband and children with all my heart.

I will hopefully find out by the end of next week whether I will be asked to remain on at Duluth Trading Co. or not.  The Lord has miraculously provided me with a new car (true it needs a new water pump but that is minor) and has proven to me over and over that he will supply my needs but I'm still fretting over the near future...

Tomorrow I am becoming an official member of my church and possibly being voted in as a deacon.  Which in some ways really scares me and yet I feel as though I am supposed to be more involved at church so I feel that this is the right decision at the same time.  Please just keep me in your prayers as I struggle with what will be happening in the near future.

Disillusion

I was at Culver's waiting for my lunch and there is a group of about 6-7 guys across the dining room from me and they make me despair for the entire male race.  They are lewd, their conversation heard clearly across the room.  Speaking in degrading terms about me and women as though it is funny, I'm sure I don't want to hear all of their conversation.  And using profanity (almost every other word) when there is a child around 8 or 9 years of age in the dining room.  (If I had been that child's parent I would have asked them to stop using profanity.  I wouldn't want my child hearing that.  But his father just sat there as though it was the norm.)

It is such a relief that not all men are as crude as these specimens across from me are.  I mean, I can have a dirty sense of humor but this is over the line even for me.  Now they are all hitting on/staring at two blonde teenage girls that just entered the restaurant.  The sad part is that these men could have been any one of the guys from my high school graduating class.  Even sadder is the fact that there are girls out there who would enjoy having these guys oogle them, for even I can admit that they are good looking specimens.  Too bad the rest of the picture erases that first redeeming quality in my mind.

Whatever happened to chivalry and mutual respect?  I know that I would want my boyfriend/husband and even just a guy friend to treat me with respect.  What did these guys's parents not teach them, what didn't those girl's mom's teach them about the opposite sex?  (For they had noticed the attention and were enjoying it)....I wish I knew.

I'm not sure what it is about cloudy afternoons but they make me tired and leave me with a profound tendency to be lazy.  And, as I just returned to an empty house I think that I shall now go and bask in the glories of David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly in "The Labyrinth"

Bring on the stirrup pants, crazy hair and make-up I need to hear "Dance, Magic Dance!"

happily ever after

So, last night I watched Roger and Hammerstein's Cinderella, with Leslie Ann Warren as Cinderella.  While I enjoy the music and it brings me back to my childhood (most likely) I did notice yet again what Barbara Streisand talks about in the movie "The Mirror has 2 faces" which I watch the beginning and end of (I don't like the middle so much...)

Barbara's character is a Professor of Romantic Literature and the MMC (Male Main Character) sits in on one of her lectures at one point.  She is talking about her sister's recent wedding and romantic archetypes...and she says something like this...
"The end all and be all of romantic love is..." and asks her students what they think.  After a series of comical answers from her students she answers her own question "Marriage."
"This thing that we call a wedding ceremony is really the final scene of the fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right?


"I heard a quote somewhere that said, being in love is like hearing Puccini in your head... So when my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him."

But it's true.  The movie ends as the lovers are reunited, and you are led to the door outside the church where they are to be married and that is it....that is the end.

Barbara goes on to say in the movie, "So why do we fall in love, when it can have such a short shelf life and be devastatingly painful?" again the students give their thoughts.... and Barbara answers, "Those are all great answers but too intellectual for me...I think that we fall in love, because while it last....it feels fucking great.."

In someways, I'm not certain where I am going with this post.  But I am putting it out there.  Maybe I just wanted to share some of her Pity quotes from the movie.  It is full of such great one-liners and three-liners (you know).  But there is my thought.  Maybe it is just me becoming romantically morose...I don't know.

I'll leave it at that.

Beatrix Potter

I watched "Miss Potter" last night (actually watched most of it this time, instead of just the ending as I have been wont to do) and I am still wondering what exactly it is about Beatrix that I so identify with...

Is it the fact that she was an author and an artist?  That she was 32 (at the time that the movie depicts) and unmarried with no prospects?  Or that her only friends were the characters she created?  Or her vision of the world?  I don't quite know, but I do know that I felt for her, for her passions for her work for her love of the country and the way of life that she adopted.

She went through such heartbreak, losing her fiance Norman so suddenly and yet she was tempered by her sorrow (like silver is refined) by the process.  She becomes stronger.  She gained inspiration from the land around her and worked hard to protect it for future generations.  Because of her passion, her love she left behind a legacy for all of Britain one that is appreciated even to this day.  And she is given a second chance for happiness in her marriage to William Heelis.

Single-handed she bought and donated 4,000 acres of farm land in the Lake District of England to a Land Preservation Trust to prevent it from being sold, broken apart and developed for profit.  Much as we are seeing farms being broken up around my parents home and in many other agrarian communities.

The movie "Miss Potter" also inspires me every single time I watch it.  I think that I have decided that I must live in an English Country Cottage (even if it is in the US) because I LOVE them so... So I did a search today for pictures of English Country Cottages and found some neat images...Enjoy

 

Okay, so this isn't really a real cottage, it's Rose Cottage from the movie "The Holiday" but it's a good example of an English Country Cottage...

 

Yew Tree Farm (one of the properties that Beatrix bought, used in the film "Miss Potter" as Hill Top Farm the first farm that Beatrix bought, and how she first met her future husband, William Heelis.)

 

I want a bed like this (but less flowery wall paper please)

 

Kate Winslet's character Iris bedroom in "The Holiday" (I adore it!!)

I want a door like this one, covered in roses....it's really a dutch door which I though was AWESOME!

Anyway, I shan't bother you anymore and shall return to my musings, and watching Roger and Hammerstein's Cinderella starring Leslie Ann Warren...